


Don't Sadface Me, Help Me!

by Kashika



Series: Texting [2]
Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: Humor, M/M, Problems, Sass, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-07
Updated: 2016-09-07
Packaged: 2018-08-13 18:52:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7982398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kashika/pseuds/Kashika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngbae is on a date with Seungri and the maknae is definitely trying to seduce him. But how is he supposed to react to that? In his light panic, Youngbae texts Jiyong for help. </p>
<p>Jiyong, great relationship-advice-guru, obviously knows how to help...eventually.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Sadface Me, Help Me!

**Author's Note:**

> The story is at some points based on the first part so I advise to read it before reading this one (though it's not necessary to understand the plot). Also, I'm definitely developing a huge liking for sassy!Jiyong 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy reading!

**[Youngbae]**

Ji

_9:21 PM_

Ji I need your help

_9:21 PM_

QUICK

_9:21 PM_

Please it’s really important

_9:22 PM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

What’s wrong? Aren’t you out on a date with Ri?

_9:23 PM_

 

**[Youngbae]**

Yes but I fled to the bathroom

_9:23 PM_

Ji I think he’s trying to seduce me

_9:24 PM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

maknae is trying to seduce you? Awww, how cute

_9:24 PM_

what is he doing?

_9:24 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

He’s constantly touching me either 3 cm or 3 seconds or both away from inappropriate and it’s driving me insane

_9:25 PM_

And he’ s giving me all those sultry looks and sometimes even licks or bites his lips  what I’m pretty sure is on purpose

_9:25 PM_

And he’ s wearing way too tight fitting trousers and he even has three buttons of his shirt undone  and he put on  some eyeliner as well

_9:26 PM_

And he ran a foot up my leg like five minutes ago before I went to the bathroom

_9:26 PM_

Help me Ji what do I do I have no clue about this I can barely handle girls flirting with me how do I handle Seungri of all people

_9:27 PM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

calm down  B ae

_9:27 PM_

you’re acting like a prude teenager

_9:27 PM_

or should I say like your seventeen old self?

_9:28 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Not funny

_9:28 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

tiny bit funny  actually

_9:28 PM_

but honestly I thought you wanted to get into Ri’s pants? He’s basically offering himself on a silver platter what’s your problem?

_9:29 PM_

 

**[** **Youngbae** **]**

...

_9:29 PM_

You know I do

_9:29 PM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

but you never did it with a guy and now you’re scared af or what

_9:29 PM_

ohhhh want me to tell you?

_9:30 PM_

ok so first  you gotta make sure to take off all your damn rings because ain’t nobody want that up in there

_9:30 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

OH MY GOD

_9:30 PM_

KWON JIYONG

_9:30 PM_

STOP RIGHT THERE

_9:31 PM_

I DID MY RESEARCH OK I KNOW HOW THAT WORKS

_9:31 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

kkkkkkk research huh?

_9:31 PM_

good boy

_9:31 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

You’re awful

_9:32 PM_

Why am I even friends with you?

_9:32 PM_

 

** [Jiyong] **

awww don’t be mean

_9:32 PM_

you know you love me

_9:32 PM_

 

** [Youngbae] **

Sometimes I’m not so sure about that

_9:33 PM_

 

** [Jiyong] **

:(

_9:33 PM_

 

** [Youngbae] **

Don’t sadface me, help me!

_9:33 PM_

I’m still in a crisis 

_9:34 PM_

 

** [Jiyong] **

if you know how it works I honestly don’t get your problem

_9:34 PM_

 

** [Youngbae] **

I just have no idea how to react to his advances

_9:34 PM_

I was fine with the hand-holding and the kissing on our other dates but I don’t know what to do with this

_9:35 PM_

 

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

I told you to watch more dramas with me

_9:35 PM_

you would have less problems now if you did

_9:35 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Ji if this was a drama then his gorgeous ex would walk into the restaurant now and I’d see it and interpret everything wrong and we’d get into a fight and wouldn’t talk to each other for days until one of us would get into a terrible accident and fall into a coma and the other would regret everything and cry at the hospital bed for days until true love would find its way or whatever and we’d make up again when the other wakes up

_9:37 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

well you better go check if that’s not the case

_9:37 PM_

we have a show next week and I don’t take wrong gone dates as an excuse not to show up

_9:37 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Haha very funny

_9:38 PM_

As if that would happen

_9:38 PM_

Stuff like that only happens in dramas

_9:38 PM_

Ah god I hate you Kwon Jiyong

_9:39 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

;*

_9:39 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Okay he’s still alone no gorgeous ex in sight but that still doesn’t help me with my problem

_9:42 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

honestly  B ae just have some confidence and flirt back it’s not that hard

_9:42 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Yes it is, i t’s actually very, VERY hard

_9:42 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

oh jeez just do what he’s doing and touch back and stuff

_9:43 PM_

and tell him what you wanna do with him in a hushed tone when he’s not expecting it

_9:43 PM_

that’s always a good one

_9:44 PM_

 

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

You want me to tell him that I want to kiss him and make him feel good?

_9:44 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

at least try and let it sound sexier

_9:44 PM_

add more details

_9:45 PM_

I mean c’mon there must be things you fantasised about doing to our little maknae that are more explicit than ‘kissing and making him feel good’

_9:45 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

I can’t tell him I want to  pin him to the wall and suck bruises into his neck

_9:45 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

why not? Stuff like that is considered hot

_9:46 PM_

Ri told me he wants to drink soju from your abs

_9:46 PM_

so I doubt he’ ll have a problem with that

_9:46 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

He what

_9:47 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

he wants to drink soju from your abs

_9:47 PM_

oh and I think he said something about writing poetry about your face,  too

_9:47 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

You’re kidding me right

_9:47 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

I have screenshots

_9:48 PM_

**[Youngbae]**

Why do you have screenshots?

_9:48 PM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

blackmailing

_9:48 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Why would you

_9:48 PM_

Nevermind, why do I even ask

_9:48 PM_

But are you telling me he only likes my looks now or what?

_9:49 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

what??

_9:49 PM_

oh my fucking god Bae

_9:49 PM_

how the fuck could you misunderstand this

_9:49 PM_

I s2gd

_9:50 PM_

and you want to tell me real life isn’t like dramas sometimes

_9:50 PM_

what I’m trying to tell you here is that Seungri is fucking WHIPPED WITH YOU

_9:50 PM_

W H I P P E D

_9:50 PM_

as in if-you’d-ask-him-to-have-your-babies-he’d-probably-say-yes-whipped

_9:50 PM_

he said your smile is out of puppies and rainbows and actual sunshine

_9:51 PM_

and that your laugh makes his day 200% better

_9:51 PM_

that boy is so head over heels for you it’s not even funny anymore

_9:51 PM_

so get your shit together already

_9:51 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

He actually said that?

_9:52 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

Even before the abs part

_9:52 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

Wow

_9:52 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

ikr

_9:52 PM_

so I expect you to go out there now and flirt with Ri for god’s sake  and get him to beg you to fuck him tonight

_9:52 PM_

I have a right as your best friend to bang at the walls while you two are too loud at 1 am do you understand me Dong Youngbae

_9:53 PM_

 

** [ Youngbae ] **

You really have the weirdest ways of motivation sometimes

_9:53 PM_

 

** [ Jiyong ] **

I know

_9:53 PM_

I expect the maknae to whine all day tomorrow that he can’t sit properly you hear me

_9:53 PM_

condoms and lube are in the bottom drawer btw

_9:54 PM_

 

**[Youngbae]**

I guess there’s a reason why you’re my best friend after all

_9:54 PM_

 

**[Jiyong]**

of course there is you’d be lost without me

_9:54 PM_

and now go get it bro!

_9:54 PM_


End file.
